Bode Miller is “Pissed Off” at His Eyes


In the wake of his disappointing performance at the recent Sochi Olympic Games, Bode Miller blames his eyes.

As reported by the Washington Post, Mr. Miller was unhappy about the way his eyes were performing leading up to the Winter Games, but neglected to account for how much eyesight would actually aid him in his athletic pursuits.

According to Mr. Miller, “vision is critical,” clearly stressing the importance of sight whilst downhill skiing.  He then went on to say that he cannot see very well in the sun, underscoring how seeing clearly is disabled in natural light.

Although Mr. Miller recognizes that when his vision fails him, his skiing suffers, he, in true Olympian fashion, denied himself lasik, which could have procured him the gold medal, because he “couldn’t find the time.”

Mr. Miller is, however, looking forward to doing quite well this season in his glow-in-the-dark bowling league.