A Most Sensuous Star Spangled Banner

The Greatest Rendition of Our Anthem Ever To Be Heard!

Ah yes, R&B singer Robin Thicke, the troubadour behind last summer’s triumph “Blurred Lines,” may indeed believe he has a phallus that exceeds expectations, however, his art shall never exceed the greatest of all R&B maestros, Marvin Gaye, from whom, shall we say, he heavily borrowed his latest tune.  Begging your pardon, Mr. Thicke, but did you really think we wouldn’t notice that the similarities between your tune and Mr. Gaye’s “Got to Give it Up” is more than a wee bit inspired? Honestly, it’s just as ridiculous as those models who simply cannot dance in your video.  Perhaps you thought we wouldn’t notice anything aside from their bare breasts?

What’s that, Mr. Thicke?  Greatest of all R&B maestros, you ask?  Most emphatically yes.  Without any hesitation.  You question why?  Let us dispense with the tomfoolery, Mr. Thicke.  Mr. Gaye brings it.  Each and every time.  For chuckles, let us choose a rather common tune: The Star Spangled Banner.  In an age where our country’s anthem is horribly violated and deliberately debauched in front of sport-loving citizens several times a week, one man alone took center stage and, with a drum machine and a very dapper pair of aviators, stole the show at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game. Isiah Thomas, Dr. J, Magic, Kareem-Abdul Jabbar, Larry Bird: no one cared.

So, yes, Mr. Thicke, and you dear readers, prepare yourselves for that which is soulfully smooth, and come listen to the bard perform the most riveting rendition of the “Star Spangled Banner” ever to be heard!

Putin Takes Olympic Spirit Global

Not quite understandably, building a fifty one-billion dollar Olympic sports complex and dominating the Winter Games with 33 total medals, including 13 gold, wasn’t that gratifying for Russian President Vladmir Putin.  His attempt to reassert Russian superiority in front of a global audience through team figure skating, speed skating, and the four-man bobsled clearly did not satisfy.  Because nothing says…

The Most Extraordinary Dan John

Renowned strength coach and really nice guy Dan John is all over the latest issue of Men’s Health.  Read it and follow everything he tells you and you too will become extraordinary.  Oh, and yes, also learn what not to say to a naked woman.  You can find a direct link to the incredibly intelligent Dan John under the Sideshows…

Bode Miller is “Pissed Off” at His Eyes

In the wake of his disappointing performance at the recent Sochi Olympic Games, Bode Miller blames his eyes. As reported by the Washington Post, Mr. Miller was unhappy about the way his eyes were performing leading up to the Winter Games, but neglected to account for how much eyesight would actually aid him in his athletic pursuits. According to Mr….

Rather Simply, WTF?

I am not quite sure what any of these women are actually doing, but I can assure you of one thing, it is high time we stopped pretending fitness clothing is for athletes.

Sochi 2014: On Your Knees, Russia!

Applause to Jake O’Donnell, whose headline about Olympic fashion on Sportsgrid.com is the indisputable champion of all XXII Olympic Winter Games headlines to date: “Our Olympic Athletes Will Look Good as Hell in Sochi Because We’re America and Suck It Russia.” There is a certain verve to Mr. O’Donnell’s “Suck It” addendum, which clearly establishes the hierarchy of the world’s…

The Treadmill Desk: A Great and Wondrous Truth

Truth be told, such a machine is just not a good idea, and not because this is an idiotic invention.  All ridiculous multitasking notions aside, walking leaves us depleted and, in effect, diminishes the efficiency with which we engage in those other things of great import: the Twitter, the Facebook, Pinterest, Snapchat, Instagram, and whichever social content platform is currently…